Frustrations

I just looked back at the last blog entry I wrote. Sometimes when I write a really optmistic update like that I feel like I'm not doing the experience justice. As volunteers we try to keep it positive when talking about our host country (they are hosting us for two years after all), but being a volunteer can be trying at times. There's a reason that they call it the toughest job you'll ever love. I've definitely had days where I feel like tearing my hair out or maybe curling up in the fetal position in the corner of my house.

One thing that I've been wanting to talk about here is how difficult the situation is for women in Burkina. Most of the situations that really have gotten under my skin have to do with the differing gender roles here. Women still play a very traditional role in Burkinabe society, so I guess we could say things haven't really "arrived" here like they have at home. Whenever I tell people (especially men, it's always the men!!) that I teach, they looked so shocked to find out that a woman could be teaching math and science. "Oh, but women usually teach literature, languages and history", they tell me. Luckily I have a female colleague who also teaches math science. One day we were sitting in the teachers room at school, and then out of the blue she asked me, "Lara, est-ce que les personnes parlent mal a toi?", which means do people say mean things to you, or literally, do people talk bad to you? (African french anyone?). "You mean like male students?" I asked. "Yes." "Does that happen in the US?", "No, not like it does here". Then she smiled and had a look of relief on her face. I used to feel like all of my frustrations as a volunteer came from the fact that I was a white american. But it's really that I'm younger than anyone else who works at the school (some of the upper level students are even older than me!), and I'm a girl. Even though women are starting to pursue upper level education and professional positions, it's sort of like they can do it if they want to, but they are always expected to fulfill their foremost role of marrying and having children. And women often aren't taken seriously by their male colleagues. I find that almost all of the male teachers at my school have either stared at me during meetings, made comments about how "jolie" they think I am, etc. When I told one of them that I didn't like it when they did that, he said, "Oh but you have to say things like that to a women from time to time, or else she won't feel good". This is one aspect of the culture that I will never accept. I go through it over and over and over again in my head, why it's like that, that marriage is important, collective society...blah blah blah, and I'm sorry, but I will never like the place that women currently occupy in the sociale fabric. I refuse to accept objectification!

On a lighter note, it's finally cooled off here, which means I can sit inside my house during the day and get work done, without finding myself in a pool of sweat after five minutes. Woo-hoo! Yay cold season! Happy Thanksgiving to everyone too! I'm not sure what I'll be doing yet. I had planned to meet up with some volunteers, but I don't like the idea of traveling two weekends in a row, so I might just stay at my site...maybe I'll make an apple pie in my dutch oven and share it with some village friends.